Confidence is Everything
We all know someone who toots their own horn slightly too loud. It’s annoying. And, it’s not true confidence.
Confidence is actually twofold: the way you carry yourself and how you talk to yourself.
Here’s the thing… we all CHOOSE how to think about everything that happens in our lives. The good and the bad. We talk to ourselves ALL DAY LONG.
Once you realize this, use it to your advantage. Instead of telling yourself you can’t do something, putting yourself down, or being negative about literally everything, make your thoughts speak to who you actually want to be. Easier said than done, right?
Write down any thoughts that are keeping you back.
“My ex was right, I am a loser.”
“I never deserved this job, anyway. Who cares if I get fired. It was bound to happen.”
“I’m not good enough for her. She would never want to be with someone like me.”
Write down all those horrible things. You’ve kept them as a credo for too long. Write them down, and question them. Ask, “what is the evidence for this thought?” I guarantee you, most of the time you won’t even be able to think of the evidence corroborating these stories. Don’t let them stay in your brain! It’s of utmost importance to have a healthy mindset! It’s wildly unhealthy to think negative thoughts about yourself.
Once you’ve disproved these hurtful narratives, write down a new story.
“My ex does not determine who I am now.”
“I am valuable, and my work is worthwhile. I am a great employee.”
“I am a great person. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t consider being with me.”
These examples are obviously quite broad, so they will have to be individual to you!
I practiced changing how I talked to myself for a long time now. It doesn’t come overnight! What has happened during this process, is a steady increase in my self-confidence realizing that it doesn’t matter what other people think of me, it only matters what I think of me and the goals I have set for myself.
I can’t honestly say that having a great suit, killer tie, or a sport coat that suits you perfectly will automatically make you the most confident man in the room. It certainly helps and will absolutely elevate your presence, but the way you think of yourself and the way you talk to yourself is solely your responsibility. Begin turning your negative thoughts into positive ones. Tell yourself you can do something instead of that you can’t. Say “why not?” instead of “why?” and over time, you will begin to transform from the inside out and become the self-confident man you were born to be.
